Paradise
by ada69
Summary: Rose reflects on the conditions of her life while trying to find her true purpose and destiny. Oneshot. I do not own ADJL.


**Well, this is actually a fanfic I made for a bet, and I wasn't going to post this, (because I won said bet) but I thought I might as well if I took the time to write it. It was one of those fics I wrote at 2:00 in the morning. And this is all from Rose's POV by the way…at different ages in her life. **

**SO this oneshot is dedicated to Noble6 for two reasons. 1. I wrote this for the bet I made with her. 2. Another reason that should be pretty obvious to her. **

**Paradise**

**06/03/03**

Hey! Guess what? I just turned eight years old yesterday! I'm so excited!

Well, it's parent's day at school today. Today's the day when everyone's mommy and daddy come to class and tell us all what they do in their jobs. Everyone is so excited about it, but I'm not.

See, the problem is that I don't have a mommy or a daddy, and I don't know why. I tried to ask the Huntsman, but he told me that my parents are both dead and that he was supposed to raise me. But then when I asked him to come to school and talk about his job, he said no.

_There she was just a girl. She expected the world,_

_But it flew away from her reach,_

_So she ran away in her sleep._

The Huntsman says that I need to focus on my destiny, whatever that means. He says that I need to keep training and working hard, and that I don't have time to "waste away with childish obsessions." He never lets me play with any of my friends. I don't even have friends. No one likes me because I'm different and don't have a mommy and a daddy.

Sometimes the Huntsman hits me if I misbehave. He tells me that if I train hard and I do what I'm supposed to do that he'll let me play with my friends. The problem is that I can't even get friends because I never get to play with anyone.

I'm so confused. The Huntsman tells me he's like my parents, but why doesn't he act like all the other parents do?

I'm supposed to fulfill my destiny, but I secretly hope that I can get out of here someday and find a real family. But don't tell the Huntsman. He will punish me if he finds out.

~Rose

_And dreamed of para para paradise_

_Para para paradise para para paradise_

_Every time she closed her eyes._

**6/03/07**

Why don't I have a real last name? I asked the Huntsman this the other day, and he told me that we had to use a fake one. He claims that he doesn't know my real last name, but I KNOW that he's lying. I don't understand why I can't know my own last name. It's like I don't even have my own identity.

Well, I've been training REALLY hard lately! The Huntsman even told me that if I keep up the good work, I get to be his new apprentice! I'm really excited because that's a huge responsibility, but at the same time, I'm not sure how I feel about it.

Every time the Huntsclan talks about killing magical creatures, I cringe a little inside. I know that they need to be killed, but something about it just doesn't feel right to me.

_There she was just a girl she expected the world,_

_But if flew away from her reach,_

_And the bullets catch in her teeth._

I wish that I got to make my own choices in life. I hate having to have other people decide things for me. I really wish I had parents who didn't put me through all of this.

The training and the classes are so hard! I still have almost no friends, and the friends I do have barely know my name. No one in the Huntsclan cares about me either. The Huntsman pretends like he does, but we all know that he only cares about himself. The only reason he took me in was to raise me to become his apprentice.

I don't want anyone to know this, especially the Huntsman, but sometimes I cry myself to sleep at night. Everyone always says that there are at least two people in the world that love you, but I know for a fact that I don't have anyone that loves me.

_Life goes on it gets so heavy,_

_The wheel breaks the butterfly._

_Every tear a waterfall._

Sometimes I wonder if anyone would even notice if I died. Or if anyone would care. Would anyone come to my funeral?

_In the night, the story night, she closed her eyes._

_In the night, the stormy night, away she flied._

I'm so alone in this world. All I want is one person to care about me.

~Rose

PS: Happy 12th birthday to me! :)

_And dream of para para paradise_

_Para para paradise para para paradise._

**06/03/10**

Jake is amazing! I don't know where I'd ever be without him.

He has to be the first person to ever truly care about me. I don't know why he does after everything that I did to him before I learned the truth.

Magical creatures aren't evil…the Huntsclan is evil. I hate this place, and all I want is to go to sleep one night and wake up in a completely different life the next day.

_She'd dream of para para paradise_

_Para para paradise para para paradise._

And I know now that this might even be possible. I've recently learned that my parents are, in fact, alive and well, another sickening lie then Huntsman told me as a child. He kidnapped me. He took me away from them.

So there may actually be not two, but THREE people in this world that care about me. Jake and both of my (alive!) parents. I just hope that when I find them, they haven't forgotten about me yet. Jake says that he'll help me find them. I just hope he can…

_And so lying underneath the stormy skies,_

_She said oh I know the sun must set to rise._

I've realized by now that life most certainly isn't fair.

I've been forced into a life that I never would have chosen for myself.

_This could be para para paradise_

_Para para paradise para para paradise._

I was kidnapped from my family and forced to be raised by a wicked, self-centered man.

_Para para paradise_

_Para para paradise_

_Para para paradise._

And I almost never get to see the one person who truly loves me, and even when I do see him, I have to pretend to fight him.

So no, life isn't fair. Life isn't even CLOSE to fair. But at night, I close my eyes and dream of a life where I live with my parents. A life where I get to chose my own destiny. A life where I get to see Jake whenever I want and not have to worry about getting caught.

And I know that you have to go through all of the bad things before the good. So maybe…just maybe…someday I'll find paradise.

And as I drift off, I think to myself…

_This could be para para paradise_

_Para para paradise_

_Para para paradise._

I realize that I've made mistakes in the past and that they have made me stronger. I know that the Huntsman has pushed me hard since birth, but that's only pushed me to try harder to get where I want to be. I know more now than I knew eight years ago when I was eight years old. I know that my past life and actions don't have to have ANYTHING to do with my future.

Sometimes I think about what could be. I dream of a time when I can finally be with my parents and Jake.

A time when I finally find my own paradise.

~Rose

**XX**

**I don't really know where this came from. I just kinda started writing it one night. Not my favorite thing I've ever written, but I don't think anyone's ever written a fic where you can see Rose's thoughts from three different stages of her life. **

**And the song of course: Paradise by Coldplay. **

**Does it fit with the fic? Meh…I think so. But I just really love the song. :) **

**Thanks for reading! **

**~ada**


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